Life With God & Grief – Lesson 1 – Defining & Identifying Grief

Living With God & Grief

Lesson 1 – Defining & Identifying Grief

February 15, 2026

Introduction:

We are calling this series Living With God and Grief because life will always consist of both—and that’s okay. This is not an either-or choice. Both God and grief are present in our lives, and learning to live with both is what this series is about.

A key truth to remember: The presence of God does not mean the absence of grief, but the good news is the presence of grief does not mean the absence of God!

The either-or choices we face are in how we choose to live with them:

• I will either focus on God or focus on grief
• I will either be grateful for God’s presence in my grief or blame God for my grief
• I will either get strength from God or get stuck in grief

It is important to understand that we are not stuck. We can choose to recognize both God’s presence and our grief, and learn to live with strength, joy, and purpose even while we grieve.

Three Goals for this series:

• Learn to recognize both God and grief as constants in our lives.
• Define grief, learn to identify where it appears, understand why it appears, and see how it affects our daily lives.
• Learn how to navigate grief with God and how to help others do the same.

Memory Verse: Psalm 34:18-19 The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. ¹⁹ Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all.

Today’s lesson, Defining and Identifying Grief, begins by helping us understand what grief is and how to recognize it in our lives.

How We Will Define Grief:

For this lesson, Grief is the internal response to loss—what happens inside a person when something meaningful is changed, taken away, or never comes to be.

Grief begins internally, but it shows up outwardly. What happens inside affects thoughts, emotions, physical responses, behavior, relationships, and daily routines. Because of this, grief affects every area of life. These repeated internal and outward patterns in people facing loss are collectively known as grief.
How we handle grief shapes the person we become and the relationships we build. Grief can affect us for better or for worse, which is why learning to navigate it with God is crucial.

Why Grief Is More Than Sadness

Grief is more than sadness. It involves the whole person and influences how someone thinks, feels, and lives. It also explains why grief looks different from person to person. Some express grief openly, while others suffer through it quietly. Some slow down, while others stay busy. The outward expression may differ, even when the internal response to loss is similar.

This definition also helps us understand why grief is not limited to death. People grieve the loss of health, relationships, jobs, stability, opportunity, and expectations. People also grieve for things they hoped for, planned, or expected but never experienced. The loss may differ, but the internal response follows a common pattern.

This definition of grief helps us recognize grief in our own lives and prepares us for the rest of this course as we learn how to live with God and grief.

Identifying Grief:

Grief is often hidden, ignored, or unrecognized. Many people experience grief while continuing to function in daily life. A person may return to work, school, family responsibilities, or church and assume that because life has resumed, grief should be gone. Others may assume the same thing.

Returning to responsibilities does not mean a person has completed the grieving process. It may simply mean they have had to get back to life.  While people expect grief to last a few weeks or months, many people assume grief is, or should be, gone the more a person returns to a daily, weekly, or monthly schedule. You may even assume you have mostly put grief behind you because on the surface, you appear to be functioning well. Because of this, grief is often overlooked, even though it continues to affect thoughts, emotions, and relationships.

Below is a list of common signs to help identify grief. You don’t have to experience all of these to be grieving—even a few of these signs can indicate grief is present. Keep in mind that these signs can also point to other conditions or life circumstances, so they don’t automatically mean you are grieving. Use this list as a guide to help recognize when grief may be affecting you.

Emotional signs: These are usually the first things people expect.

• Persistent sadness or tearfulness
• Feelings of loneliness or emptiness
• Irritability or anger
• Guilt or regret
• Anxiety or fear about the future
• Numbness or lack of emotion

Mental and thinking signs: These are common but often misunderstood.

• Difficulty concentrating or “brain fog.”
• Forgetfulness or mental fatigue
• Replaying events or conversations repeatedly
• Trouble making decisions
• Preoccupation with what was lost or what life used to be, or what never came to be (job, career, friendship, marriage, family, etc).

Physical signs: Grief often affects the body more than people realize.

• Ongoing fatigue or low energy
• Changes in sleep, too much or too little
• Changes in appetite
• Headaches, body aches, or tension
• Feeling worn down or physically heavy

Behavioral signs: These are often noticed by others

• Withdrawal from people or activities
• Loss of interest in things once enjoyed
• Increased isolation
• Restlessness or staying constantly busy
• Changes in routine or neglect of self-care

Relational signs: Grief often strains relationships.

• Feeling disconnected from others
• Short patience or increased conflict
• Difficulty expressing emotions
• Avoiding conversations that remind them of the loss

Spiritual and purpose-related signs: These are less talked about but very common.

• Feeling distant from God
• Loss of meaning or purpose
• Questioning one’s direction in life
• Struggling to feel hope

Serious warning signs: These require careful attention

• Thoughts of wanting to die
• Thoughts of suicide
• A sense that life is no longer worth living
• Feeling like a burden to others
• Statements about wanting everything to stop

If you or someone you know is experiencing these thoughts, please reach out immediately. Help is available.

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 (call or text, 24/7)
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
• Contact your pastor or a trusted friend

In some cases, grief can affect how a person views life itself. This does not mean grief always looks this way, but it does remind us that grief should not be ignored or dismissed simply because a person appears to be functioning. Grief can be present at many levels and over long periods of time.

It is important to understand that grief does not have a schedule or an expiration date. Because the loss is permanent, grief may remain part of life. It may surface unexpectedly, sometimes years later. A memory, a date, or even an ordinary day can bring sadness, anger, or anxiety, just as another memory can bring joy or laughter. We do not think it is strange when a good memory brings a smile, and it should not feel strange when another moment brings grief. This is the mind and heart continuing to process loss.

These moments do not mean a person is broken, weak, or failing. They mean the loss mattered. Grief may come and go, or have highs and lows. These highs and lows are not something to fear or ignore. They are part of living with loss. God’s presence, promises, and peace are just as permanent as the loss itself, and He remains with us as we learn to live with God and grief together. The bigger truth to remember is that while we all must live with loss and grief, we do NOT have to live controlled by grief.

You Just Learned More Than You Thought:

As we close this lesson, remember what this series is about. Life is not God or grief. Life is lived with God and grief. We have defined grief as the internal response to loss, and we have identified common ways grief shows up in our lives. When grief surfaces in a moment, we are not powerless. God is present, and He equips us to live with Him and grief. Here are three steps to practice when grief surfaces:

First, remind yourself that the presence of grief does not mean the absence of God. Grief does not push God away. God is near in moments of loss. “The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart” (Psalm 34:18).

Second, choose to talk to God and tell Him exactly what you are feeling. Grief is a burden, and God invites us to bring it to Him honestly. “Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee” (Psalm 55:22).

Finally, allow yourself to experience the moment of grief without fear of being stuck in it. Dealing with grief in the moment may be the very door that allows you to move forward. “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning” (Psalm 30:5).

As we continue this course, we will keep coming back to this truth: while we all must live with loss and grief, we do not have to live controlled by grief.

Additional Resources

For Immediate Crisis Support:

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text, 24/7)
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

For Ongoing Grief Support:

• GriefShare groups (many churches host these support groups)
• Biblical counseling through your local church
• Christian counselors trained in grief and loss

Remember: Seeking help is both an act of faith and a sign of mature faith—trusting that God has provided what you need and equipped people to help you.